Stay At Home Mom Dynamic

You always hear about how stay at home moms do nothing but lay on the couch all day or how being a stay at home mom is the hardest job or how working moms do everything a stay at home mom does and more.

Being a stay at home mom for 4.5 years now I have to say that I agree with every one of those statements . . . to a certain extent. Want to know why? Because every mom (whether they work inside the home, outside the home, or both) is different and has a different dynamic!

I have a friend who is a working mom but she is blessed with the ability to bring her son to work with her every day. Her husband is a firefighter on a department that works 48 hour shifts (and if you know a firefighter you know that when they are not on shift they are always busy working side projects) so she has her son most of the time. So in her case, she works outside of the home but still has the responsibility of primary care of her son and home like a stay at home mom.

I am a stay at home mom with three little ones at home full time but also work from home doing photography and spend a lot of time editing and advertising. I also handle all of the household things like cleaning and bills and laundry and caring for the kids and chauffeuring them on my own since my husband works a second job on his days off from the fire dept and is gone 90+ hours a week.

Another friend of mine is a stay at home mom with one in school and one at home. Her husband’s job is a normal M-F job so he shares in much of the household chores and chauffeuring.

Another friend has two young children but works a very demanding job and her husband has to travel for work so her little ones are in daycare during the day.

Another has split custody with her ex husband so her daughter spends time between her house, her ex’s house, and daycare.

I could go on and on but the point is . . .

Are any of us better moms than the other? NO! We are all hard working, loving, dedicated moms handling our own mommy dynamic the best we can! Comparing us to each other would be crazy because we all have different lives and responsibilities! So every one of those statements, while true to a certain extent at certain times, is false because no two moms are alike!

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Baby Steps

When we arrived at speech today a wonderful woman from the OT part of the therapy center was there to meet with us. Instead of her normal speech session we were taken to the OT building and Miss Rae was observed as she played and I was able to discuss her with the therapist along with going over the questionnaire from two weeks ago. After today we are very certain that our girl does in fact have SPD and will be starting occupational therapy in just a few months to help her with it.

Words can not express the feelings of relief I feel now knowing for sure what we are dealing with and that we are in such good hands. I of course came home and started doing more research and I could swear this was written just for me – 10 things they don’t tell you about parenting a child with SPD

The Beginning of Our Journey

So through all of the bumps in the road we have with Miss Rae I have read numerous blogs and have felt very comforted by reading other mom’s similar stories . . . so I thought I would start blogging as we go and maybe my blog will help someone down the road?

Here is a little back story. When she was 1 1/2 I took her to an eval at Sooner Start. They told me to bring her back in 6 months. At her 2 year eval they told be she was 30% delayed and that they needed a 50% delay so to bring her back in 6 more months. At this point I asked her doctor for a referral for a different therapy center but I got more of a story of her family member who talked late too instead of help. So we switched doctors and were immediately referred to do a speech eval and she qualified for therapy right away with highly suspected speech apraxia. It took a month for insurance to approve the eval and another month for them to approve the therapy but even just 4 sessions in I feel so optimistic. She absolutely loves her speech pathologist and gets so excited to go see her every week!

And to go even deeper into how amazing her speech pathologist is . . .

Along with speech problems, Miss Rae also has a lot of other issues including trouble sleeping (which she is on melatonin for), horrible abusive melt downs that last an hour at least, touch issues shutting down in stressful situations, etc. Her doctor referred her to a neurologist to see if the shutting down was seizure related (no seizure activity was found) and then referred her to psychiatry for the melt downs. After searching and searching no one will take our private insurance so my dad has found a child study center that we are currently working on getting into. After talking to her speech pathologist I have also done a lot of research about sensory processing disorder. I asked her doctors office for a referral to occupational therapy for an eval to see if maybe that is the root of all of this but was denied since we have the referral to the study center and her physical development is all on track. So I called OT on my own since it is in the same therapy center as her speech and they were able to talk to her speech pathologist who gave me a sensory questionnaire to fill out today and then returned it to OT for me.